“I wanted to be named Zaxxon when I was very-very little…”
In this meet the team spotlight, we’ll sit down with Ninja Forms’ resident Editor-in-chief, Quay. Reserved, inquisitive, peaceful, and generally laid-back, our interviewer does the Lord’s work in pulling answers to all the “tough questions”. We hope that you’ll take a seat and join us, as we get to know Content Ninja Quay.
For those unable to listen to the audio version of Getting to Know You, an abbreviated transcript of this riveting Q&A session can be found below:
1. What would you name your boat if you had one?
Quay: “Boat.”
2. What will finally break the internet?
Q: “Something to do with Rule 34.”
3. Which fictional character would be the most boring to meet in real life?
Q: “Papa Smurf”
4. What is the best and worst purchases you’ve ever made?
Q: “My favorite recent purchase is my hybrid Camry. Valid. Worst purchase? Probably some kind of crappy technology I don’t remember anymore.”
5. If you had to change your name, what would your new name be, and why would you choose that name?
Q: “I wanted to be named Zaxxon when I was very-very little, because I had this Sega arcade handheld…this predated the gameboy. It was this ship game where you would fly through space past these obstacles. I asked my mom if I could change my name, but she shot it down.”
6. What problem or situation did TV / movies make you think would be common, but when you grew up you found out it wasn’t?
Q: “At one point I was fairly certain that Cobra Commander might take over the world. It was a very real possibility when I was 6 or 7.”
7. What is the dumbest way you’ve been injured?
Q: “Shooting that Kenatee video a couple of years ago. I was chasing after the Kenatee through the hallway and I broke my little toe on the doorframe.”
8. If you could know the absolute and total truth to one question, what question would you ask?
Q: “What is the sound of one hand clapping?”
9. What’s the most useless talent you have?
Q: “Not being able to think up good abstract answers on the fly.”
10. Where is the worst smelling place you’ve been?
Q: “Probably some bathroom somewhere. Oh gosh, Crüefest [Mötley Crüe festival], it was in Atlanta and there was this bathroom and there was this one big trough, it was U shaped, and yeah…I’m done thinking about that.”
11. What sport would be the funniest to add a mandatory amount of alcohol to?
Q: “Golf. Golf would be funny if everyone were plastered.”
12. What hobby would you get into if time and money were NOT an issue?
Q: ” Space travel.”
13. What job would you be terrible at?
Q: “I can think of so many. Oh gosh…international diplomacy.”
14. What movie would be greatly improved if it were made into one long epic rap battle?
Q: “I think you could do virtually anything to improve the [Star Wars] prequels.”
15. First think of a product. Now, what would be the absolute worst brand name for that product?
Q: “Toothbrush. …I don’t think I can say that while I’m being recorded…I-I-I-I don’t know. I can’t recover from that.”
16. If five-year-old you suddenly found themselves inhabiting your current body, what would your five-year-old self do first?
Q: “Probably go play in the dirt, because that was a-lot of fun when I was five.”
17. What are some fun and interesting alternatives to war that countries could settle their differences with?
Q: “Having rap battles with Donald Trump.”
18. Is a hotdog a sandwich? Elaborate.
Q: “I mean if you want it to be-if you feel very strongly about calling your hotdog a sandwich I don’t see any reason why you shouldn’t be able to. I could see a very legitimate argument either way I suppose.”
19. What is the most boring activity imaginable?
Q: “Watching basketball. All the squeaking really grates on me.”
20. What would be the coolest animal to scale up to the size of a blue whale?
Q: “An aardvark…maybe herds of giant aardvark and we could ride them. Koalas. Hedgehogs…that could be dangerous.”
…But that’s not all, Quay is then subjected to a BONUS round question!
21. If you die and discover in the afterlife that everyone gets to choose a twelve-foot by twelve-foot square to stay in, alone for eternity, without being able to influence or contact the living world, where on Earth would your twelve-foot by twelve-foot square be?
Q: [after much deliberation and humorous contemplating] “Either a coral reef or somewhere in the rainforest…there is sure to be some accidental coffee growing in there.”
