5 Ways to Annoy Your Customers with WordPress Forms

keep off the grass! WordPress formsCustomers are a real pain in the rear. Always hanging around your website, taking up all your bandwidth, nagging you with questions. Fortunately for you, there are plenty of tricks you can use for running those bothersome little squatters off your digital lawn. WordPress forms are one of the best ways to accomplish that.

What better way to tell someone they’re unwelcome than smashing a putrid pie in their proverbial faces when they reach out to contact you or make a purchase? Want to sign up for my newsletter? Here’s a one-way ticket to Mos Eisley with the rest of the scum, baby. Use the following tricks to make sure you never make another sale again!

Making Them Angry with WordPress Forms

1) Make Your Forms Insufferably Long

Nothing screams I HATE YOU quite like landing on a form that stretches farther down the page than you can see on your 27” Thunderbolt monitor. The simple prospect of filling out form fields for the next 10 minutes is surely enough to run even the most hardened web surfers off. Hopefully the power flickers while they’re there and they get that sinking feeling in the pit of their stomach knowing they have to do it all over again. Isn’t it great?!

Never put more than 3-5 fields on a single form page. Research shows that form conversion drops dramatically after that. If you absolutely must use more fields than that, break your form into multiple pages.

2) Leave Your Readers in the Dark

So you broke down and split your long form into pages did you? Way to bow under pressure, chum. The least you can do at this point is leave ‘em guessing about how many pages they have left to complete, and definitely don’t give them any way to save their progress. While you’re at it, you should throw in some fields that have obscure input masks for phone number entry or date of birth etc.

If you’re using Multipart Forms to break large forms into more manageable chunks, be sure to turn breadcrumbs or a progress bar on under Settings in the builder so that your users know how much farther they have to go. If they can’t complete the form in the window of time they have, Save User Progress is invaluable and will really increase conversions on a multipart form.

3) Get All Up in Their Business

nosy dog in your WordPress formsYou know what I love sharing with strangers? My personal phone number. Seriously, every time I visit a website that wants my phone number, I give them my home address too. I mean, why not? Who doesn’t want personal details all over the internet? Right? You should ask every potential subscriber to your mailing list all about where they live, what their phone number is, and maybe their next of kin. They’ll love you for it, seriously.

Online privacy is a growing concern around the world. Don’t be “that guy” that asks for a phone number or other personal information unless it’s clearly needed. Even then, use tools like a well crafted privacy statement or other trust elements in the form as reassurance that you’ll respect their data.

4) Make Your WordPress Forms a Real Pain in the A@@ to Read

More and more of the web is going mobile responsive every day, but that doesn’t mean you have to! Make your customers work for what you’re offering, with WordPress forms that they have to scroll across their little iPhone screens to see fill out. For an added kick of get-the-heck-off-my-page, place form labels inside the fields and make them disappear when the user hits a key!

Mobile access to the web now outnumbers non-mobile. Use Ninja Forms and never worry about mobile responsiveness. All of your forms are 100% fully mobile responsive by default. Be smart about label placement in relation to fields. Interaction cost is a factor you want to keep low for your readers, and efficiency pays dividends for conversion.

5) You Didn’t Really Want to Read That, Did You?

Despite it all, for some reason people still want to come and read your stuff. Your last ditch line of defense here is distraction. Build a form, make it a modal, and time that sucker just perfectly so a paragraph or two into your content- BAM!- modal pops up and blocks the whole darn screen. You didn’t really want them there in the first place, right?

Your content is one of your website’s most valuable assets. Let the reader enjoy it, and keep your signup forms visible, accessible, but unobtrusive. They’re quite possibly nothing on the web more annoying than slideshows and modals that popup on a timer and block the text I’m reading. Just… don’t.

11174630606_1d1db42b5d_o_dI hope you’ve enjoyed learning new and creative ways to annoy your customers. Who actually wants people around on the web anyway? Especially on your own website! Tell ‘em to get off your lawn with these quick tips for WordPress forms and never be bothered by another form conversion ever again!

Ya. Don’t do any of these things. I hope you’ve enjoyed the read and the tips in italics will actually take you places. Please feel free to share any other ideas you might have in the comments!